Fat, frumpy and forty seven. I was 5'6 " and 180 lbs. My weight had been as high as 198 after my last son (now 9 years old) was born. I felt I was destined to be this way forever. I felt hopeless. I hated having to go out to events or dinners. I did not have many clothes and hated shopping for myself. I would often find myself rushing to the store a few hours before any event trying to find something to wear. Nothing looked good. I avoided looking in mirrors. My feelings about my weight and body kept me from fully participating in life.


I felt invisible.


My wants and needs took a back seat to everyone else's. I have three sons, 19, 17 and 9 a husband.

When I met my husband I was 25 and weighed 128lbs. As our relationship progressed we ate out more, worked out less. When we were married I weighed 135. I thought I was fat then. As the children came along we decided I would become a stay at home mom and so for the next 18 years I stayed at home and looked after everyone but myself. My weight kept creeping up. Over the years I tried various methods of getting fit: weight watchers, joining an all female fitness club, running, Pilates, yoga, power walking, jogging, slim fast, Dr. Bernstein. I did not see the results I was after and often became distracted from my goals by the day to day challenges of living. My husband traveled a lot when our two eldest were small and I was often alone and isolated. We did not have family support nearby and I often turned to food late at night once the boys were in bed.

Last October I decided to make yet another kick at the can. In August we had gone out to Penticton to visit my husband's family. I saw my sister in law for the first time in a year. She had totally remade her body. She had always been active and eaten right but she could not seem to get her body to where she wanted it to be. She looked extremely fit and happy. I asked her how she had accomplished her new body. She looked like an after picture you see in the magazine ads for weight loss supplements. She told me about Lisa and her new training and eating program. When I got home from the visit I continued to think about how great she looked. I did not believe that it was possible for me to accomplish what she had. In October in a fit of desperation and longing I called my sister in law asking for Lisa's contact information. I emailed Lisa asking her if she would be interested in working with someone like me; someone who was not looking to become a fitness model or competitor; someone who just wanted to get her groove back. Lisa responded right away and we got to work.

At first I felt totally overwhelmed by the nutritional guidelines. Counting carbs, proteins and fats was new to me. How was I ever going to pull this off? I quickly got the hang of it with Lisa's guidance. The workouts Lisa designed were challenging and fun. The most important thing Lisa told me when I spoke with her was that it was time to put my needs first. I had to look after myself in order to look after everyone else. I had heard this before of course but Lisa made me believe that my health and happiness was important and worth working for. I had to be a little bit selfish carving out time to workout and plan my meals.


I was uncomfortable with this at first but I quickly realized that my family benefited from my new found energy and knowledge. Life continues to throw curve balls, as it will. The teenagers get into various problematic situations, basements flood, the heat pump gives out in the dead of winter, family health issues arise, holiday sweets and goodies continue to temp, washing machines break down, plumbing backs up, car accidents happen ( no one was hurt thank goodness), the dishes still pile up, laundry is endless. Any one of these situations would have sent me running to the cookie cupboard, or the chips, or the pots of pasta and tomatoes, I used to eat in front of the TV after everyone was in bed. Now that I am doing a better job of looking after myself I can better cope with all the things life throws at me without turning to self defeating habits.

Lisa is with me the whole way. On one occasion, after I sent her an email saying that I did not think I was getting anywhere called me to give me a pep talk and "pulled me off the edge".

To date, I have lost 41 lbs and many inches.

My husband and I just got back from a trip to Costa Rica. It is the first trip in our marriage that I have not been ashamed to be seen in a bathing suit. It was very freeing not to worry about the shape of my body. I was comfortable in my own skin for the first time in a long time. I still do have my challenges. I would catch myself looking in the full length mirror in the hotel room ( I don't own a full length mirror at home) and think to myself, I wish my legs were that fit, I wish I looked that good. Then with a jolt I would realize, Hey that's me! I am that woman!


It is possible to be fit and healthy. Even if you don't fully believe it can happen for you, make a leap of faith. You never know where your journey will take you.





Thank you Lisa, you made me a believer.

Sue L.
Ontario, Canada

This is me...


Seriously


June 2003 is when my own personal journey to transform my physique, my lifestyle, my business and take the stage as a fitness competitor began.


So this is my story.



I am 5'1 and in this picture I was about 20% body fat and 105 lbs. Now, please understand this is a healthy bodyfat and weight and by no means did I think I was fat or out of shape. These pictures are meant to illustrate exactly HOW much you can make changes to your body with the right nutrition, exercise, guidance and dedication to make things happen.




These pictures are also meant to show each of you that I am NORMAL and I started at the beginning just like each of you. My body composition changes did not happen overnight, my healthy eating habits did not come naturally (have I ever mentioned how long it took me to hop on the vegetable bandwagon?). First and foremost I have been my own test subject, I have also worked with coaches and teachers who have inspired me and have played a huge role in both my physical and mental transformation.



I will give you a snap shot of where I came from.



I was the girl who was active in dance when I was young and then hit highschool. Gym class was a joke... I hated it and took it because I thought it would be easy. I was the girl that would put the track pants on OVER my jeans partly because I was lazy and partly because they were too tight to get off.... hey what can I say I am a product of the 80's... tight jeans and bands with big hair were all the rage. My lack of participation and frequent trips to McDonalds during gym block almost resulted in a failing grade which would have prevented me from earning my high school diploma. Trust me, the irony of this is not lost on me.





Once out of school I did discover weight training and loved it but never REALLY applied anything or trained effectively... all I knew was that I loved being in the gym... sometimes.



Healthy eating... what was that? My mom did a great job cooking healthy meals but once I was out on my own I enjoyed the freedom of having ice cream for breakfast and have a vivid memory of cooking frozen corn in a fry pan. Yes, I was a true wonder in the kitchen. I was hooked on Dorito's, microwave popcorn and SLURPEE's and it was mandatory that an extra Slurpee be in the freezer at all times so I wouldn't have to get my lazy ass in the car to drive all the way to 7-11 (which by the way was a 5 min walk at the most). Of course I still needed to hit the 7-11 to pick up my cigarettes... yes my friends, I was also a smoker.




So that is me in a nut shell... its not pretty and to publish my truth for all to see on my blog was harder than I realized when I made the decision to share it. Who I am today is a direct result of where I started and the JOURNEY it took to get here... and my journey is still on going.




Today my weight floats around 106 to 110lbs and my body fat sits around 12 to 15%. You can see from the pictures on my website that my body composition today is dramatically different. I know everyone has heard, read or been told that weight training can change your body and I am living proof of this. Ladies do not be afraid to pick up a dumb bell weighing more than 5lbs BUT also understand that a change in eating habits is critical for success. Weight training and cardio alone WILL NOT give you a tight, toned and fit physique.







I am still learning, growing, changing and evolving... physically, mentally, personally and professionally but now my focus is on my family of clients who are embracing thier own journey and finding a healthy balance in my own life.









I hope this inspires something in each of you and that you realize that whatever your fitness goals may be including weight loss, muscle gain, muscle toning, improved athletic performance, injury re-hab or just learning how to finally get off the diet wagon and start eating and living healthy. It CAN be done.


Time will pass regardless of if you do something today or not...



So start something today, and tomorrow you will be one step closer to achieving your own transformation and creating your own story... and I hope you will share it with me!

I wanted to share the next poem that reflects the continuing journey and growth of the client who wrote the Body Image poem. I want to sincerly thank her for having the courage and strength to share such intimate thoughts with me and allowing me to share them with you.

Everyone has the ability to let go of the crutches and fears that cripple us from achieving what our hearts desire. It just requries taking the first step and having a helping hand that will walk with you, pick you up when you stumble and be the voice of comfort, re-assurance and strength when the negative voices try to rise up.

Journey


Is it that you can't?
Or is it that you won't?
Walk this path with me...
The question is moot.

For I must carry on
Without you,
And leave you behind.
Today, I mourn your loss.

But I cannot stay here with you,
Stuck in the quicksand
Of everyday simplicity.
It bleeds my heart dry.

The depths of my soul
Hunger for a power of experience
Surface living can never provide...
My spirit calls.

Too, I dream of the day
When you cry to be freed.
And fear, I hesitate by your side
And be not on shore
To throw you a rope.

But pray!
Don't linger too long...
Lest I be too far up the hill
To hear your call.

Well here it is ... we are almost at the end of April and I have been visibly absent from posting on my blog. For anyone close to me you will know that my own life has been filled with challenge, change, new experience, the awakening of my spirit and the grieving process for time gone by.

Just like every client I am also a work in progress and am constantly learning not just about fitness and nutrition but also about all things that relate to the process of body composition change. I got to experience first hand the devastating effects of stress and hormones on a woman's body... I also took a walk in the land of cookies and now have a new found appreciation for how and why most women turn to food for comfort. Even though I am a very clean and healthy eater and diligent about my own exercise I found that when I was going through the motions of a changing life I struggled to stay the course.

I will tell you that eating simple sugars, not eating every 2 to 3 hours and letting my consumption of good fats go MAGNIFIED my emotions, altered my body composition quickly and made everything worse. This was a great lesson for me to learn.... FOOD really does affect our emotional state and once I embraced the lifestyle that I truly love my mind cleared and my enthusiasm and spirit returned. Even through all the tough decisions and turmoil I endured I believe, as I always do, that each experience in life teaches us and provides us with more positive than negative regardless of the situation. Even my injuries have given me invaluable learning opportunites that I would not have otherwise had.... don't get me wrong, I would still take un-injured any day but am just trying to make a point about looking at the positive you can pull out of each experience.

Spring is finally here and the female spirit is large right now... are you embracing yours or are you struggling with a poor body image and dark feelings about yourself?

I plan on making this the best spring and summer I can by living healthy, eating naturally clean foods, taking in the beauty of the world around me and feeling good not just about how I look but how I feel on the inside.

Each of us have that spark inside us... every woman has an amazing energy inside her that deserves to be set free. It's not to late to make this the summer you feel the best you ever have about yourself.... What is your dream? Do you want to be the hot mom at the pool? Get into that fabulous pair of shorts you saw just yesterday at the mall? Feel sexy and confident for your husband or boyfriend or better yet, just for yourself? Do you want to be able to put on that tank top and LOVE how your arms look? How about being able to chase your kids around the park or actually do the monkey bars with them?

Life is waiting for you... the question becomes are you ready to really do what it takes this time so you can LIVE it to the fullest?

This poem was submitted to me by a client who started in a very dark place that MANY of you will relate to. It brought me to tears and I asked her if I could share it... this poem inspired me to get back to writing this blog and expressing my own feelings. I am happy to say that this phenominal woman is no longer in this place. Her journey has been long both physically and mentally but she has continued to work through the fear, self doubt and dark feelings to take herself to an amazing place. Her spirit is very large and she has transformed into a beautiful butterfly. I am so very proud of everything she has accomplished and what she has overcome.

I feel very blessed to have been a part of her journey.

Too
Body Image

"Beached whale," "Broad ass," "No, honey, that doesn't suit you"
"She has the body, you have the face," "There, that's very slimming"
"Fat," "Pork," "Grease"
Loser


The voices echo
Flagellating my eardrums
One more time
"You are not good enough," they say
Never have been, never will be
Truth is - you are too
Too fat
Too intense
Too sensitive
Too smart for your own good
Too, just too

You should be - "less"
Less fat
Less emotional
Less independent
Less, just less

His fists pound on my ribs, back
Echoing the voices
Be less, be less, be less
Every blow, trying to remove the excess
Pounding my flesh, bones
Into a compact version
'Til I seem less - to him

So when he leaves
I resume the chant, resume the act
Be less, be less, be less
Long after the voices have ceased
And the bruises faded
I resume
Take his place
Keep me "less"
So no one else will see...me